mostly david ephgrave

Today, I was fortunate to meet with my good friend Rob, who I haven’t seen for months. Every so often, he’ll stop off at Hitchin on his way to his job DJ-ing for a radio station in Milton Keynes, so we can have a coffee - and occasionally a pint - and a catch up. We met doing the Buddy show together, before setting up our own Sixties show in conjunction with Glyn, and connected very early on, thanks to our mutual love of Buddy Holly, The Beatles and our shared sense of humour. We don’t see each other as often now, since stopping gigging together, but whenever we go, we pick up where we left off. Me being me, things had to start awkwardly today. A late night after yesterday’s gig meant I hadn’t got ready in time for Rob’s arrival, meaning I had to leave him waiting in his car outside while I finished getting dressed. This was a step up on what usually happens, when he arrives to park at mine to find me already in town; I like to make things strange. Despite the initial ba

Tonight’s Leicester Square Theatre show was pleasingly busy compared to the last date, yet somehow, it didn’t quite settle into the rhythm I wanted. It’s funny how different a room and a gig can be, dependent on how comfortable the audience is with the situation they’re faced with. You can have approximately the same number of people in from one day to the next, and yet that same amount can feel either exposed or relaxed, as according to how 'busy' they perceive the room to be. Tonight, it seemed they thought they were in a small audience - in little pockets here and there around the room - and didn’t feel relaxed enough to laugh, yet last time, a room of less people seemed more at ease. On the whole though, it wasn’t bad; I’m being hugely self-critical. There were a few people in tonight who hadn’t seen me do solo stand-up before that I wanted to see me in the best possible light. As it was, it sort of wavered in and out; it never quite hi

I unwound the good old-fashioned way tonight, by watching the film Carry on Cabby.  (The interchangeable double rr and bb combo-pack in the title is pleasingly symmetrical, so well done them.)  I've mentioned here before how I'm a big fan of Sid James, particularly in the late Fifties / early Sixties Hancock's Half Hour era. It's often forgotten just how subtle a comic actor he was, when he wasn't forced into a corner by the subject matter of his late-Carry On era. He's particularly enjoyable when he's in the company of Hattie Jacques, when years of working together makes their chemistry effortless. Good quality old-school comic performances like these often inspire me, giving me the fire to want to do the same sort of stuff myself. They remind how fun comedy can be; a simple fact I often forget. That's why I listened to an episode of the radio Hancock series every day before doing my show in Edinburgh; the quality of the writing and the comedic turn

Pulling together a blog compiling my tweets about last night’s Strictly Come Dancing makes me feel a little fraudulent, as I missed the first half of the show because I was out for a meal for my mother-in-law’s birthday (which I call ‘The Les Dawson Excuse’). I nipped to my office afterwards to read this tweet from Glyn: This only made things worse as, not only out, but my double act partner - who was away tour-managing an adult pantomime in Eastbourne (as you do) - was actually relying on my snarky commentary. For the sake of completeness, see below for what I said about what I saw: 7:39pm: "You fanky chicken, you." 7:40pm: You don't love Judge Rinder, Tess. YOU DON'T LOVE ANYONE. 7:40pm: Barcey Dussell. 7:43pm: Well...the male model's a gimp. 7:43pm: Ed Balls can't get no double-negatives. 7:45pm: "Everybody's naughty.” 7:50pm: ...because go-karting is the best way to spend time

There’s no more exciting way to spend a Friday evening than sitting up, waiting for the tumble-dryer to finish drying your towels. At least I’m using the time wisely by writing as I wait, though I can’t see this making for a hugely exciting blog post; if anything, I might have peaked with the first sentence. Today's been reasonably productive. I did a run of my show in the afternoon, which I was happy with. I did it at home rather than in the office, which was nice, as I often feel a bit self-conscious talking to myself in a tiny room in a shared office building, when people from the other companies walk past. At least at home, I didn't have to be quiet, plus I had my cat as an audience, though she was largely indifferent to the whole thing; everyone’s a critic. I hope some people come to see it. I feel like I’m promoting it relentlessly, probably to chagrin of everyone around me. Sadly, it’s a necessary evil when you don’t have PR

One thing I’ve been busying myself with today is registering the three work-in-progress dates I’ll be doing at the Brighton Fringe next year. …and so begin my thoughts on how to follow this year’s show. I haven’t put the current one to bed quite yet - I’m back at Leicester Square Theatre next week , and will be doing it as part of the Leicester Comedy Festival in February - but I’m trying to gently set the wheels in motion for what I write next. At the moment, I’m mostly concerned with the admin - booking the dates etc - but I’ve also been loosely thinking about what the content of a new show might be. At the moment it’s all very vague. Sadly, you can’t do anything like this on a whim; venues need to be found and applied for and blurbs and pictures need to be submitted before you get down to the nitty-gritty. It’s quite intimidating to think I have to start again with a solo show for the third time around. On the whole, I’m proud of what I pulled

The other day, I was watching TV on mute - I find all noises distracting - when an advert for My Little Pony came on-screen. “Does that even still exist?” I asked my wife (a pointless question, as it clearly did). “Yes,” she replied. “For some reason, they're very popular with teenage boys.” This blew my mind. Why would they be interested in it? Surely they’re the completely wrong catchment. Not because they’re boys - I don’t hold with toys being gender specific - but because they’re entirely the wrong age group to appreciate it. For one, My Little Pony was designed for pre-and-infant-school kids; the gumpf-selling bastion Argos lists them as suitable for kids of 3+. But what confuses me the most is the current teen generation isn’t even the right age to enjoy them for nostalgic reasons, as they’d be too young to remember them first time around. I can’t fathom it out. Am I missing something massive? Why would they be into a toy with no purpose, least of all to peop

Either people have started recognising me locally, or I look weird. I guess it's not that surprising that the people in my area might know my face, what with the comedy club I run, the theatre stuff I’ve done here, and the fact my band were popular in Hertfordshire back in the day. I’ve achieved the lowest level of celebrity: I'm 'Big in Hitchin'; if I could just break Cambs, Beds and Bucks, I’d be on my way to bagging Anglia and the South East. The downside to this bijou fame is I feel self-conscious doing mundane things, like buying toilet roll or going to the doctors’. I feel like Wings caught in the spotlight on the cover of Band on the Run: everyone knows the sick, twisted things I’ve been up to (just ask my GP). One thing I often forget is how loud I’m speaking in a pub or a coffee shop, and that I may be overheard. I’ll be moaning about a time I felt slighted, or orating my opinion of a gig or a venue, without consid

Many people where talking online about how tonight’s University Challenge had a unusually high female contingent compared to the usual mostly white middle-class male contestant fare, but I didn’t notice. Why: because I was being dazzled and perplexed by Ducklin’s psychedelic shirt. It was much the same the last time he was on, when he was sporting another questionable number (not too dissimilar to my vast array of floral shirts), which also caught the nation’s notice; so much so, it has its own spoof Twitter account; proof that whatever you may be thinking at any given point, someone else is probably thinking it too. See below for tonight’s UC-related Tweets; I don’t mention how badly East London were doing until more than two-thirds down. East London Vs. Warwick. 8:01pm: #UniversityChallenge Prediction of the Evening: Jeremy Paxman will be impatient. 8:01pm: #UniversityChallenge Second Prediction of the Evening: some of the c

One thing everyone involved with Strictly seems to drone on about all series is Blackpool Week, at least until tonight, when they’ll probably pipe down about it for another year. While I understand the importance of the town to the ballroom world, I’m never that excited at the prospect of the programme coming from there, primarily because I’ve actually been to Blackpool, which I loved as a child, but less so as an adult; it makes Great Yarmouth look positively glamorous. See below for my tweets about tonight’s show (with a big prediction as to one of next series’ contestants at the end; I bet I’m right): 7:00pm: That awkward moment when Will Young appears in the #Strictly opening credits. 7:02pm: The musical theatre songs I hate the most are songs about musical theatre. 7:05pm: No one's squeezing MY slow winkleman. 7:06pm: Tess' sympathetic "Awwww" due to Daisy Lowe leaving made me swear and shake

I may have just reached the apex of personal dullness when I thought to myself whilst brushing my teeth, “I wonder why Listerine stings?” I’m not even going to bother to look it up, as if I did, I’d be admitting defeat. It’s not the sort of thing you need to know, unless you work in dental hygiene; if you don’t, it’s better to remain in ignorance as educating yourself suggests you even care about the mechanics: as far as I’m concerned, I’ll make do with “because it’s makes your teeth clean”. It’s worrying when you realise this is the sort of stuff that crosses your mind. There must have been a point when I’d ponder exciting, magical things, like “What makes the sun so bright?”. Now, I only want to know why my gums tingle when I rinse them with a partly alcohol-based liquid that’s the colour of WKD Blue. Still, at least it stops me drinking it.

I’m quite proud of myself that I did my solo show at Mostly Comedy tonight with very little notice, because one of the acts in the line-up had to pull out. The moment it came up, I felt surprisingly calm. The performer in question is a character comic, who it was possible a sizeable chunk of the audience may have booked to see specifically, and who’d been down to do three of his alter egos tonight. Unfortunately, personal reasons conspired to make it impossible for him to come, which left us in a bit of a quandary. Thankfully, I did the show on Tuesday, so it was loosely in my mind, and on balance it just seemed to be the best option, as I was technically billed to be on tonight anyway, and it would fill a decent chunk of the evening. So, after a quick phone conversation with Glyn, we decided it was the way to go ahead. Despite things being a little stacked against me, I really enjoyed it. While as a recurring event, Mostly Comedy is obviously goin

This is it: MY 2016 EDINBURGH FRINGE SETTLEMENT IS IN . To anyone who suggests my comedy career is progressing slowly: I WAVE THIS IN YOUR FACE . Look at the figures and you can clearly see I’m winning; I’m nearly three quid up on the game. Take that, Mr Chilcott, Careers Advisor at Thomas Alleyne School; I can make my living as a performer (as long as somebody agrees to consolidate my debt). Admittedly, that £2.52 BACS payment doesn’t take into account every aspect of the cost of my recent EdFringe run; this is just the Box Office Settlement after the remaining half of my venue hire fee was paid off. There's still the accommodation, the brochure fee, the posters & flyers, the flyerers, the subsistence, the PR, the previews, the train tickets and the adverts to consider. But forget all that; I’ve done good. I can afford to buy 6.3 red peppers from Sainsbury's and live like a red-peppered king. Joking aside, thing did work o

Tonight’s Leicester Square Theatre gig was just what I needed to give me the boost to get myself back on the case with my solo stand-up. For one, it was nice to be in a proper venue with the appropriate tech set-up, rather than having to take everything with me; I’ve grown tired of spending the majority of my journeys into town resembling a comedic pit-pony, carrying more equipment than any one man should ever be lumbered with, with my wife roped into the deal, lugging a load of gear as well. Not only does this make you sweaty and stressed, it zaps half of the energy you need for the show, making it all the more likely you take any of the problems you had in getting to the venue (and setting up the space) into your performance; it’s a shitter of the highest level, and one I’d sooner avoid from now on if I can. I was fortunate to have the assistance of Mostly Comedy’s technical wizard Paul Willianms tonight, which made things easier; it was good to

There’s something frustratingly repetitive about University Challenge at the moment, when currently faced with so many returning teams. This is all well and good, but I like having new unhinged people to focus on; alternate speech impediments or questionable haircuts to assiduously mock. I know the show doesn’t bring out the best aspects of my character, in that I essentially don’t bother listening to the questions as they go by, instead focusing on the social awkwardness of that week’s contestants. I’m hardly one to talk - awkwardness is essentially a constant shadow to my life, but it can at least be put into perspective in comparison to some of the students who put themselves through something as unremittingly pressured as competing in the iconic long-running quiz show. See below for tonight’s Twitter ramblings; as per usual, I’m sorry for any insult I cause. Birmingham Vs. St Andrews (14.11.16) 8:04pm: Birmingham's Sutherland looks set to be tonight&#