GBBO 2016: Volume Ten (26.10.16)


And so, that’s it. The last BBC series of The Great British Bake Off draws to a close, with an ending more emotional than the final shot of Blackadder Goes Forth spliced with the snowman melting to the tune of Aled Jones.

It’s sad to think it’s done, and the dream team of Mel, Sue, Paul & Mary must part (until the BBC entices the majority of them back with a different format). In the same way that Brexit means Brexit, C4 no doubt means C4. Still, it was fun while it lasted. Who knows?: maybe the move will breathe new life into the proverbial oven; we’ll have to wait and see.

Below you’ll find tonight's live tweets. I’m glad Candice won, though I did mourn the lack of Selasi. How long before he hosts a show with Nadiya? Not long, I hope.

8:01pm: Continuity Announcer: "...but who will be crowned as the winner?" (Answer: Love Productions, at £25million).

8:02pm: Andrew Eddie Red(head)mayne.

8:03pm: Paul Hollywood. Hands in pockets. Cowboy stance. YES.

8:04pm: Paul Hollywood's beard looks a computer mouse.

8:06pm: Please, God, don't let next year's Bake Off be hosted by Tess Daly.

8:07pm: Andrew: "I'm looking for stiff peaks." Aren't we all, Andrew. Aren't we all.

8:11pm: Anyone with a many-layered hairstyle like Jane's should be able to bake a well-rendered meringue crown.

8:13pm: Why isn't anyone making a meringue Westminster Abbey?

8:17pm: To match with the Coronation / Crown Jewels theme, Paul and Mary should be viewing bakers' meringues from a conveyor belt. *Tower of London reference*

8:22pm: Use Jane's head to sweep away those tricky cobwebs from the ceiling corner.

8:25pm: Jane looks like a tousled blonde Beatle.

8:28pm: Candice's inner-monologue when her Victoria sandwich was being judged: "I'll cut yer"

8:34pm: #GBBOfinal is a hairstyle masterclass, w/ Jane's 'Elton John caught in the rain', Mary's 'Thatcher', Paul's 'hard as granite" & Sue's quiff.

8:39pm: Those retro photos of Jane put me in the surprising position of seeing her present-day hair as an improvement.

8:42pm: "...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the cake you bake".

8:43pm: My money's on Candice.

8:47pm: I'm going to have Paul Hollywood saying "The taste of that sausage is fantastic" as my text tone.

8:49pm: The final will end with Paul, Mary, Mel and Sue singing 'Get Back' on the roof.

8:51pm: Who gets Paul and Mary's blue contact lenses when it's over?

8:51pm: Candice. Nailed it.

8:59pm: Congratulations Candice. Commiserations BBC.

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