Doork.


I’ve been feeling sorry for myself ever since I banged my head on one of my kitchen cupboards on Saturday evening.

It happened while I was in the midst of an act of kindness: making a cup of tea for my wife. On opening the cupboard, a bag of loose-leaf tea fell out onto the floor. I bent down to retrieve it, and stood up suddenly, forgetting I’d left the door open. I smacked into the underside of it with force, leading to a fair amount of swearing and a tiny bit of blood. It wasn’t my finest tea-making moment.

Kitchengate is a metaphor for my life: I do too much at once. The last few days have been a case in point, where practically every waking moment has been taken up with trying to secure the best possible line-ups for Mostly Comedy in the New Year (I exaggerate a little, though the truth isn’t far off). When June’s show sold out at speed on Saturday morning, rather than see this as a chance to relax, I started to worry about all the line-ups we hadn’t filled yet, or haven’t been put up on sale, so I instantly got on the case. My mind’s been so taken up with it, I’ve not been looking where I’m going, hence the painful misjudgement as to the whereabouts of my kitchen units. If I focused on one thing at a time, rather than multitasking, I may not have ended up with a 2cm-thick piece of balsa wood becoming one with my brain. From now on, I won’t make tea without a hard-hat on.

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