Out on the Town (In a Low-Key Fashion).


I went out with my friend Stephen tonight, on one of our famous Old Man Pub Crawls.

It could be a sign of maturity that these days, little in the way of alcohol is imbibed. Actually, it’s more likely to do with the fact that Steve works in Hitchin but lives in Stevenage and has to drive home afterwards and I can no longer drink to excess (or INXS) without feeling sick in the night. I’m not sure what happened to me to bring about this change, but it’s probably for the best; no-one wants to see a rowdy inebriated Ephgrave roaming the streets.

You’d think that this many years into our relationship – around twenty-three - we would have covered just about every possible topic of conversation we could. In many ways, you’d be right. We long ago reached the stage where we’d prefigure each story with “I may have told you before, but…”. Yet tonight I learnt that he can’t solve Magic Eye pictures (if 'solve' is the right word) and I told him bizarre mental trick I used to use to counteract my shy bladder. Of the two anecdotes, he drew the short straw.

For two Kings of Social Awkwardness, we had a good evening. I felt less self-conscious than usual, which was surprising considering I hadn’t been out all day, save a trip to the shop over the road to buy some chocolate buttons. Any calories burnt on my journey were no doubt replaced as soon as I consumed them. That’s not to say that today was wasted, as I started booking acts for Mostly Comedy’s New Year dates. Plus I ate the buttons, which was time well spent. Tasty, tasty time well spent.

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