Mouths Wide Open.


Where would we be without the text at the bottom of the screen in the Fixodent commercial?


And there was me thinking it was a genuine event. I thought that women balanced on dentures all the time. If I were asked whether eating a carrot or having someone stand in your mouth was most likely to cause your false teeth to come loose, I’d have opted for the latter if it weren’t for the writing; it’s a simple case of size and weight. Even when doing the double whammy: biting the vegetable would be the least cause for concern in this instance.

Do we live in a world where this disclaimer was necessary? I can’t see the reality of the advert coming into question. They didn't need to cover their back in case of copycat incidents. It's like a takeaway coffee-cup with ‘caution: contents may be hot’ on the side, ramped up to infinity. You never find a person with a mouth span wide enough to fit it all in.

As screenplays go, it hasn't got much of narrative arc: dramatization, my arse.

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