Clothing-Based Boasts.


The other day I saw a man wearing a t-shirt with ‘Awesome Dad Since 2007’ written on it. I hope his kids are eight.

If they’re older, then he clearly has a brazen attitude to his poor parenting up to that date. What happened in 2007 to bring about a change to his paternal approach? He must have had a road to Damascus moment. Either that, or he just needed a new top.

Maybe his children bought the t-shirt to acknowledge his improvement. It could act as a reminder of both how bad things were and how much better they’ve become. While he may still disappoint from time to time, at least his standards aren’t as low as they were at the turn of the century. You should have seen what was written on his t-shirt back then; the adjective wasn’t ‘awesome’, I can tell you.

What if he has more than one family? If so, do they each have corresponding shirts? Timing laundry to line up with custody would be a nightmare.

Whatever the motive behind the t-shirt may be, I suppose it could have been worse. He could have worn one of these:


Both of them make me want to vomit my own eyes out. Also, get this: no-one cares.

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