The No-show Show.

We cancelled tonight's double-headed preview, on account of the fact that no-one turned up. 

That's not strictly true. One person turned up. Even that isn't accurate. Two people came: one who'd seen the show before and one who hadn't - and we decided, on balance, that this would make the show more uncomfortable than it would have been useful. It's conceivable to do a play to an audience you can count on one finger - I've had the dubious pleasure of doing this in the past - but not stand-up. There's only so much one-on-one (or one-on-two) eye contact that anyone (or two) can take.

(Still with me?)

It was frustrating to have to pull it (cue a Carry On-style sound effect). It was set to be my last preview before my Brighton run, and I had a couple of untested bits of material to try out. I'm not far off the required running time, but the show needs fine-tuning - and I'd craved the reassurance of having all my set-pieces aired before my first Brighton date. That said, it gives me time to hone the show as a whole, without rushing the new bits on stage when they're not settled in my head. 

The downside to cancelling tonight is the venue is a lot more suited to my show than The Market Theatre Studio (the site of Mostly Comedy) was. The Actors' Temple is very intimate and, as such, is the perfect setting to tell gentle stories. I was looking forward to using it to 'reset' my material, after adjusting it to work in a comedy club setting. If nothing else, tonight was an accurate representation of what it's like to perform on the Free Fringe; you can never be certain of an audience. If you have one, they often haven't invested anything in being there, as they haven't paid. If I can just lift myself to a vague semblance of celebrity status in the next two weeks, I should be able to assure a few bums on seats. Reality TV here I come.

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