Never Forget.


Yesterday, my train from Gatwick Airport to St Pancras was diverted due to a trespasser on the line. This wouldn’t have been notable if the driver hadn’t kept telling us we were being redirected via "Eleph-aren't & Castle".

He must have said it fifteen times. Not elephant, but eleph-aren’t. His comic timing was excellent. Each sentence took a different route to its deliciously mispronounced punchline.

I’d have understood it if English wasn’t his first language. It sounded like it was. Everything else was intoned in a broad cockney accent. Why was he giving one word unexpected airs and graces?

I can only assume he’s never seen elephant written down outside of this context and hasn’t made the animal connection. Imagine his embarrassment when he does. Is that an Indian or African Eleph-aren’t?

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