My Sedaka Shame.


In 2010, I achieved the dubious distinction of fluffing the bass part to 'Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen' in front of its composer, Neil Sedaka.

This career highlight / lowlight took place during my opening night in the West End Musical, Dreamboats and Petticoats. I had a reasonable excuse for my mistake, to be fair, as I was appearing in the show two days earlier than expected, and had only found out I’d be on a few hours before curtain up.

I was shopping in Sainsbury’s when I received the call. The Company Manager told me that one of the cast had fallen ill – and while I was under no obligation to come in, as I wasn’t yet under contract, it would really help them out if I did.

‘Sod it’, I thought. ‘I might as well get my first show over and done with’.

Spin forward a few hours and I was standing in the wings of The Playhouse Theatre, newly clean-shaven, about to make my West End debut. The turnaround was so quick that I’d barely had time to look at the script. I just had to trust that I’d know what to do when it came to it.

The theatre teemed with history. Hancock’s Half Hour and Steptoe and Son were recorded there, along with many of The Beatles’ BBC radio sessions. The ghosts in that building were immense.

To compound the pressure, my unexpected first appearance happened to also be Tony Christie’s last night in the show. Neil Sedaka, who was his friend, had come along to see him off. So, not only was I on with very little notice, I was also backing Tony Christie in front of Neil Sedaka. Ridiculous.

Sedaka joined us on stage before curtain up, to say hello and pose for a photo with the cast. As I shook his hand, I remembered that the first single my mum bought was one of his. Life can be weird.

The Christie version of the show closed with ‘Is This The Way To Amarillo?’, which was written by Sedaka. I hadn’t needed to learn it, because I wasn’t supposed to perform with him.

“Do you know it?” asked the M.D. in the interval.
“I think so. It’s in A with a key-change to Bb, isn’t it?”

Thus was the sum total of my rehearsal.

I got through the show on adrenalin alone. It was a hell of a buzz. My biggest mistake of the night, predictably, was during 'Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen'. Still, if you're going to fuck up, you might as well do it in front of the original artist.

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