Button Addiction.


Every evening this week, at exactly the same time, I’ve gone to my local shop to buy a pack of Cadbury’s Giant Buttons. It’s felt like a cry for help.

I’ve been served by the same guy each time. He must have noticed. Perhaps he's labelled me ‘The Button Man’ in his head. It’s as if he’s complicit in my secret, chocolatey shame.

What makes it worse is it’s quite a big bag, containing more Buttons than you should eat in one sitting. If I keep to this one-pack-per-evening schedule I’ll eventually have to be lifted out of my house with a special type of winch.

I mustn’t let things get that bad. The time has come to exercise some self-restraint. Still, at least they've kept me off the heroin.

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