Poser.


This morning I refrained from using a public toilet, because a professional photographer stood outside taking pictures made me feel too self-conscious. 

I’m aware that this isn’t a standard problem. Unless you’re me; this sort of thing tends to follow me about.

I assumed he was professional because he had a tripod. He seemed too well-equipped to be a pervy opportunist. It also wasn’t very subtle; unless he was relying on the premise of being hidden in plain sight.

The subject of his attention was a flat-capped man on a mobility scooter, who looked suitably nonplussed. He kept coming out of the disabled toilet while the faux-David-Bailey snapped away; it was like a modern day ‘Blow-Up’, recast for restricted access.

I couldn’t work out why the man kept going in and out. Surely his movement wouldn’t show up in the picture; unless they planning to make some sort of GIF.

Despite the urgent call of nature, I walked on by. The resulting picture would probably crop up in the local paper; this was the sort of coverage I could do without.

I don’t want to get a reputation for hanging around public toilets.

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