A Whiter Shade of Pale.

I sometimes wonder what goes through a paint manufacturer’s mind when they name their products.  

There was a time when just a simple black, white or blue would do. Not any more; these days, no shade name is complete without a spoonful of pretentiousness.

Take this one, for example:

Seldom has a title been more vague. When did it become acceptable to market something on the strength of what it isn’t? Imagine doing that with food; no-one would want to tuck into an almost chicken sandwich.

They may as well have referred to it as 'Not Pink'.

Some of Dulux’s other products are just as nonspecific:

That one’s less of a colour, more a concept. It’s a brave move defining paint not by its tone, but emotional state.

In a similar vein, there's this:

There are many things that have made me feel uptight. None of them were teal. If anything, I’ve always found it pretty nondescript.

Or this:

I suspect that someone at Dulux Head Office got a little carried away with their alliteration.

There are plenty more that I could cover, but I won't; there's only so many paint pot pictures that a person can put up with (now who's alliterating?). Of all the obscure monikers spotted on the paint aisle, my favourite has to be this:

I can understand admiring a flower for its petals, but when would you remark on the freshness of its stem? Different strokes for different folks, I guess.